KWANZAA DAY 3: Ujima...The Third Day Is A Charm...(That'll Cost You $10)

By this time, I'm fully aware that some of you are celebrating Kwanzaa vicariously through these notes and you know what? I'm just not mad atcha. I'd probably do the same thing had I not already committed to this.

(Uh..I'm not good with commitment...but that's a whole other note.)

Anyway...where were we? Oh. Yesterday was...

Ujima (oo-JEE-mah): Collective work and responsibility
To build and maintain your community together. To work together to help one another within your community.


So I believe if you change your thinking, you change your world and I realize that I've been shitting on Kwanzaa from the very beginning, which is sorta unfair.

When you look back, the first two days weren't exactly painful, however, they also didn't provide any reason to justify this holiday or make me want to do this again next year. However, that was only two days. There are five more principles to go...and who knows what could happen? Who knows? Right? RIGHT?! (If I get hype...maybe you will...)

Not sure if you guys read it, but one of my FB friends broke down the spirit of Kwanzaa in a note and suggested that I find some Kwanzaa-like activities in an effort to stop being such an cynic (to be read "asshole") about this and find some real meaning. Now, I said I was trying to be a better person, so I accepted the challenge. Right after service, I'd hop on my iPhone and find the hottest Kwanzaa event in New York City. Stat.

So anyway, I'm at service and the "Announce the Notes" guy reminds everyone that the try outs for the Gospel Choir will be next Sunday.

Oh. Crap. NEXT Sunday huh?

This news sorta scares the shit out of me because I was SURE the try outs were today and since I hadn't prepared...I couldn't try out! Best excuse for chickening out of an audition EVER. But they moved it...so now I have to try out. I said I would, something inside me said I should...and now it's been moved...so I HAVE to. Or maybe I don't. I mean, I'm already IN a choir, do I need another? Probably not. (Don't worry...you'll see where I'm going with this.)

Anyway...

(Insert service montage here. Sing... hold hands...pray...sing...sing...message...sing...offering...pray...sing...hold hands... we're out.)

I'm speed-walking out of service like I stole something, hoping my speed will make me forget that I'm supposed to be signing up for something. So, yeah...I'm bolting towards the door, feeling all refreshed and "more enlightened than thou", and above all the bustle you heeeeeearrr....

"GOSPEL CHOIR TRY OUTS?! GOSPEL CHOIR TRY OUTS?! SIGN UP HERE... "

I turn to look at dude behind the sign-up table, because it sounds like he's shouting directly at me. With a bullhorn. Flushed against my right ear. But he's not. It's just his very loud voice carrying over all the worshippers, letting me know he's GOT to be the choir director with a audible reach like that. Well, there's that and he looks very...uh...choir director. (Wink..wink.)

He's holding out a clip board, smiling and making the signature-flourish-in-the-air gesture. Jeez. Thanks, I think, looking up in the air. I get the hint.

I walk over with the smirk of a person that's been busted, take his (theft worthy) pen and sign up. He thanks me and tells me how much trouble he's been having getting people to sign up (thus the movement of the try out date) , how desperate they are...and how much of a (wait for it...wait for it...) HELP I am to the choir community!

BAM! I have just helped BUILD a choir by signing up! I will help MAINTAIN it by using my voice TOGETHER with others. It's not even 1pm and I've already Ujima'd! GET IT NYE! (Do ya dance...do ya..dance... Now walk it round ya'self...now walk it round ya'self....!)

Nevermind that I don't have a song prepared, he tells me. They're taking ANYONE, and they really need a pretty face like mine. (Record scratch.) Umm. OoooKaaay. What does a pretty face have to do with singing? Aww damn. I can see where this is going...

"Shut up and mouth the words Dollface..."

"But I really CAN sing..."

"Whatever. Wear your hair out. You look better that way. Do you have a tighter sweater?"

OK fine. I'm exaggerating, but damn. Dude just assumed I couldn't sing and now, all the triumph of the moment has been zapped out of me. I don't think I just Ujima'd. Somehow, this just un-Ujima'd me. Let's try again.

Off to The American Museum Of Natural History. A few quick stops, a corporate museum comp later and I'm in there! "Kwanzaa Fest 2008!"

It's not being held in a bullshit part of the museum either...it's in the Milstein Family Hall of Ocean Life! (You know, the room with the big blue whale?) DOPE! I can't wait...I'm so psyched. I'm sure to...(uh... wait...where are my notes...)To build and maintain my community together. Yes! All that! My community is HERE! Look at all these black people in the Museum and it's not a class trip! And look! There are some Asians and White folk here too! THIS IS AWESOME... till I overhear...

"I don't know Jeff. Looks like some sort of Kwanzaa thing."

" Look... I don't care. I just wanted to see the whale. Come on guys...Jenna, get the kids..let's go. It's too crowded."

Whatever. Peace Jeff. I'm here to get some Kwanzaa in me and find out the true meaning of the thing.

LOOK...they're selling African-ish looking jewlery! Very Kwanzaa! Well I'm sure I'll find someone to talk to about this at the next table.

Nope. Art.

Clothing.

Books.

"Excuse me, where is the Kwanzaa information table?" I ask one guy who is clearly way more connected to the Mother Land than I am (thus saith his clothes/locks/oil).

He shrugs. Annoyed.

"Well, can you tell me a little about Kwanzaa?"

He's even more annoyed.

"Huh? This is Kwanzaa." he informs me, gesturing at the space... as if I he couldn't believe how stupid I was. I don't know why I expected him to sound like James Earl Jones and not Kool Moe Dee.

I tell him I know where I am, and I just wanted to find out more about it. That's when he looks at his magnets on his table and smiles. One of them pictures a Kinara and "Kwanzaa 2008". OK. I thank him and move on.

Any attempt to talk to people about Kwanzaa is failing miserably. People are selling items and/or getting ready for presentations. No time. You should have done more research.

BUT I HAVE! I mean..I AM! Right now! That's why I'm here! Where is the "History of Kwanzaa" quiet booth where Dr. Maya Angelou or Morgan Freeman breaks it down in narration and makes you feel all warm an fuzzy about being black?

I got an Alvin Ailey poster (hot!) but nothing on Kwanzaa..not even at the "Kwanzaa" table. And NO sign of Barack anywhere...until the end where I saw a table with hats and tee-shirts for sale.

So I left and came home pretty deflated knowing that I'm going to have to go with the choir sign-up as my "Ujima". Which, if you think about it, ain't too bad. Signing up to help a community is one thing, but you never know who you'll help as a result...right?

I'm losing steam here guys...can't lie, but I'll keep going. Next up...

Ujamaa (oo-jah-MAH): Collective economics
To build, maintain, and support our own stores, establishments, and businesses.


Oh...that's easy. Harlem...here I come!