"Harari Gani Sweet Thang"
OK. So Day 2...
Kujichagulia (koo-jee-cha-goo-LEE-ah) Self-Determination
To define and name ourselves. To create and speak for ourselves, instead of having others defining, or determining our paths or SELVES.
Affirmation:
I will have the time, the ability, energy and determination to do all that is set before me.
You know what this said to me? Nothing that I don't already know, but I guess I had to re-affirm this. So...
I lit a candle and thought on this one. Really thought on this and decided to break it down. Why try to swallow this monster whole?
I will have the time...
Yeah, uh... I think that a matter of perspective. Time. What do I waste time doing where I could be doing something else? Besides Facebook. (And for all you who are experiencing FB Guilt, I say cut it out! Did your parents have 273 cyber-friends at our age? Were they making more friends? Uh...NOPE. They knew ONE person other than their spouses and families. (Some widow named "Gretta" in apt. 4B or something... ) Be thankful!)
Let's see...time. I know. I...uh... work. A lot. Too much.
(But compared to my mother who worked the same booth for 30 years in a Post Office in the Bronx, what I do on my job is a vacation, so I can't complain. Ever. )
I also...uh... read. Watch a lot of movies. A LOT of movies...and read. Internet surf. Play with my iPhone. Practice the "Single Ladies" dance once a week, go to the gym...
And I write. A lot. I mean, a stupid amount. I've got three blogs, I'm mid-novel (who isn't?), mid-epic screenplay and responsible for a bunch of draft notes you will NEVER see. (It's better this way. If some thought the Kwanzaa thing was offensive, you have NO idea.)
But I don't feel as if I'm wasting "time"...I guess that's the point. I think I'm doing exactly what I should be doing, when I should be doing it.
I'm not "holding on to the shore", watching people wave as they float past in rafts. I honestly feel as if I'm in my own inner-tube, lazily floating, letting the river take me where I'm supposed to go... taking a look around...dragging my hand in the water. And if you pass me in a yacht...good for you! Do the damn thing! As for me, I'm just really digging the feel of the water against my toes...
As for the "ability, energy and determination"... uh...check, check and check. Never felt lacking in any of those.
So how in the hell am I supposed to Kujichagulia if I've got nothing to really Kujichagulia about?
So since I didn't want to be an asshole about this about it... I asked around.
"Is there something I should be doing now that I'm not doing because I'm wasting time? Is there something I should be focusing on?"
Don't ever ask your parents this question.
The answer? My parents are leaning hard on the "settle down and drop a baby" front, but honestly, that's everybody else's clock, not mine. (Is it too much to have impossibly high standards? Huh Parents? Like, umm... not dating someone that's already living with someone/engaged/married/ on the D.L. for starters?)
"Just have a baby before I turn 70 please..." my Mom stresses. (To be read as, "I'm not babysitting a damn thing after that. You've got 7 years. Get crackin'".) But honestly, I think she just wants me knocked up so I can get a little payback for what she went through. (Hi Hater!)
And I actually started to feel a little bad about this for a minute. I started dwelling and thinking on (gasp!) settling and compiling my "Break Glass In Case Of Emergency" Settle-Down list when... a light bulb/saber went off. The second part part of Kujichagulia...
"...instead of having others defining, or determining our paths or SELVES."
Back to Lando.
Think he didn't want to just keep swindling dudes, sippin' Colt 45 and getting laid by pretty green female aliens? Of course he did. That's what everyone EXPECTED him to do. But that wasn't for him. The time came and he determined his own path. (OK, fine. I refer to "The Wiz" and "Star Wars" a lot because 1) I'm a girl and 2) I'm a geek. So you'll just have to give me that.)
Knowing who you are and where you're going is pretty damn important. Even more important, choosing your own path...when you're ready...and nobody elses. So yeah. I think I successfully completed day 2.
I'm on the right path, self defined and sipping a nice, tall, cool can of ... Tangerine Izze. (Because seriously Billy Dee, that shit is nasty.)
Not bad. That was easy. Off to day three which is...
Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility):
To build and maintain our community together and make our brother's and sister's problems our problems and to solve them together.
Dang. As in a Nino Brown-esque "Am I my brother's keeper..."? Wow. It's really not going to get any easier...is it?
Rock-a-bye-baby....
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