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The corn isn't doing so well.
I mean, I took a look at it this morning and it's starting to dimple. ( I probably should have gotten that hard, brown speckled corn instead of getting the one in the pack from Foodtown, but I was in a hurry.
As for the harvest? We are now down a banana and another orange. (Hey...it was either that or bake some more cookies. I think the ancestors would rather I dig in.)
Sigh... so. Yeah. I guess you want to read how I "Kujichagulia"'d...right?
Yeah...well...um...
Here's the truth. I sorta didn't do it till about ten minutes till midnight. With about two Nyreezmos in me. (A "Nyreezmo" is made up of whatever booze I have in the house with whatever mixer I have in the house. Flavor results may vary. Intoxication results are pretty damn consistent.)
You know what? This shit is starting to get stressful. And I'm not blaming anyone but myself, but damn!
Now, when I look at that stupid Kwanzaa set up in my living room, (how quickly we go from BEAUTIFUL to STUPID), instead of feeling all enlightened and empowered... I resent the hell out of it. I didn't really like yesterday's revelation after I thought about it...no matter how true it was, so I didn't think I was going to like this one either. So I came up with the perfect solution.
Why not just...put it off! You know... play some Zumba! Deep condition my hair! Make some turkey wings! Jump on "Stumbleupon"!
And that's exactly what I did. Wasn't trying to go outside because that snow was still there and renamed me "Kizzy". (Stay put.)
So, my friends.... I bullshitted.
Magnificently.
Let me give you a background of the human you all know and love as Nyree Emory.
I am a four star Procrastinator. And I know what you're thinking... hell, who isn't?
I will wait till the last possible second to do EVERYTHING and then complain how HARD it was because I didn't have enough time....but I got it done anyway..AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME?!
In school, if I had a project due...the final line would be written sometime around 6:20AM on the very morning it was due.
And, I'd usually get an "A" or something really close to it. Leading me to believe that I do all my best work under the gun...and a procrastination monster was born.
At work, I fucking LOVE deadlines! Are you KIDDING? The more, the better! If I have four projects to get out by Friday and it's Tuesday...BRING. IT. ON.
However, the not so-fun side of my procrastination includes: coming home to a dishwasher full of dishes I forgot to put away, bags of laundry begging to be washed, phone calls it's too late to return, shoes all over the apartment, fuck...I forgot to buy toilet paper...and toothpaste..AND soap?! Shit. Now I have to wipe my ass with napkins, brush my teeth with baking soda and peroxide and wash with shampoo?! And I might as well watch some...what the hell happened to the cable?! Damn it...was that bill due?!
I used to glorify this bullshit with dreamy, sing-songy self righteous sayings like... "I live in the now. I live in a place where everything is amazing and the future will be amazing too, but I don't really have time to deal with planning for that ...I've got things I have to do NOW. RIGHT NOW. And isn't that where we ALL should live?"
The problem with living in the NOW without considering that what you are doing (or not doing) in the now will completely fuck up the future when that future becomes NOW. You tend to think everything will be OK on it's own, magically...and it won't.
The past two years, I learned that the hard way. It's cost me time and money, and possibly relationships.
From not canceling automated subscriptions, paying a stupid amount of late fees, not checking my mail regularly, not going to the gym, forgetting appointments & events, not cooking at home, not bringing my lunch to work...
Once or twice, sure. But do it enough and you begin to see that...it's a problem. You begin to see your life tilt on a slope and everything that was once evenly spread out, slides down to the bottom...all crushed together. You now have a big ass pile of mess you need to sort through....which you will gladly deal with.
...later. (heavy sigh...)
So, back to me bullshitting on the Kujichagulia...
So like I said, I'm on "Stumbleupon" (BTW, a shout out to my friend Dele for my new habit. I love and hate you for it...) and what should I come across but an article on, you guessed it... "Procrastination" on one of my new favorite blogs, "You Are Not So Smart"
http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/10/27/procrastination/
Now, as I started to read this article on procrastination, my eyes glazed over, my ADD kicked in and I decided I'd read it later. You know. When I was more focused.
Yeah. Let that sink in. I'll wait.
...Did it sink in? Good.
So, you know that "C'mon Son!" look you just gave me? Yeah, that's the same look I gave myself.
So...I thought...how in the hell can I make this fun?
I KNOW! I'll pretend I'm on "60 Minutes" and read it from a teleprompter!
And so...I did.
I cut and pasted the entire article and read it aloud...from a teleprompter.
http://www.cueprompter.com/
(You probably think I'm joking...but deep down, you know damn well I'm not)
And by the end...I got, yet another "oh shit" moment. And that moment revealed the following:
If I just outsmart myself out of bullshitting, then I'll improve my quality of life. If I set up foolproof deadlines to get shit done...I'll have no choice. If hold myself accountable...with a penalty or something... SHIT. MUST. GET. DONE.
If I procrastinate because I waste time on (insert major waste of time here), I must eliminate that (insert major waste of time here), until I get it done. However, knowing me...I have to make it FUN! I have to turn it into a challenge (see "teleprompter") or I just won't do it.
And with that...I just took the reigns! I just... KUJI-CHAAAAAA-GULIA'd!!
And to prove it... I just got http://macfreedom.com/
This blocks me from the internet for a few hours so I can get my shit done. Budget balance. Clean out the closets. Return those damn phonecalls. Let's see if I can get it done BEFORE I'm allowed back on the internet.
Can I do it? We'll see!
"CH-ALLENGE!!"
The FUTURE me? I don't trust her. She's gotten the NOW me into too much trouble. I'm in control now.
"I'll be ripping off my OWN costumes now. Thank you very much."
(Ayo...I believe that's me...)
Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility):
To build and maintain our community together and make our brother's and sister's problems our problems and to solve them together.
(Fuck.)
***Due to unforeseen Holiday issues I, sadly, did not complete this task. HOWEVER, I did successfully do it the year before...(and it's posted) so feel free to take a gander at that. We have since then patched everything up and are loving each other like Bobby and Whitney. Pre-crack. Happy endings all around. Well...except for Bobby and Whitney. ***
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