Know That The Official King of KWANZAA... Is Quentin Tarantino

I mean, if we're going just make shit up, then why not? If I'm going to have to chronicle KWANZAA one more time this year, I propose we name a "King" each year and since this holiday still makes no fucking sense, let's take it one step further and give the honor of "King" to a white man. A white man who made the most honest film about the treatment of slaves in the antebellum south since "Gone With The Wind".

Oh I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?

But before I get into how AWESOME and LONG "Django Unchained" is I just want to tell you guys that I'm moving. Not out of state or anything. Just cyber locations.

Now if done right, the "Black People Don't..." transition to Wordpress from Blogger will be as smooth as Kerry Washington's edges in this epic slave revenge movie, so you've got nothing to worry about.

Either Kerry had a tub of this or Indian in her family.

Now,  about this movie.

I won't spoil it. Don't worry. 

I will say, however,  that you're going to hear the word "Nigger" a lot. I mean A LOT. So brace yourself because when you do....it's ... umm...it's... well... sort of like anal sex. (PSA: This is the part of the entry (ha! get it?) where you REALLY realize I just came from a Tarantino film.)  You see, at first, it hurts like a motherfucker but if you relax and realize it's not going to kill you, after a while you get used to it. I'm not saying it doesn't still hurt like a motherfucker, or disrupts proper pooping for a fucking week...I'm just saying, you get used to it.

Umm... yeah.

So anyhoo...

Now, if you're looking for historical accuracy in a slavery piece, go watch Roots on BET (looking at you..you know who you are.) However, if you're looking for blood, guts and a glimpse of Jamie's nuts... THIS is the flick for you. Again, it was a bit too long and I can't say whether or not it had to do with the absence of Sally Menke, but it was. I'm sure she was used to cutting Quentin down when he needed to be cut. But now she's gone and not that this editor didn't do a great job, but I think QT kinda got a little "Whose gonna check me Boo?" on this and there was nobody to fight him on leaving out the shit we just didn't need. Didn't hurt the film, it just... well, you notice.  Let me explain. You know that audience seat-shift you do when you realize the story is STILL not fucking over? That happened. 

(I don't need to tell you when. You'll do it when the time comes.) 

Loved watching Jamie Foxx's transformation from "sixth nigger on the chain gang" to bad ass "Django"  and as for Christoph Waltz... man listen. Put that man in EVERYTHING. I mean it. I want to see him in ALL THE THINGS. 

And what can I say. Leo did his job...a little too fucking well. I've seen DiCaprio in a lot of movies. This was the only time I felt... I dunno.... something. I don't know if it was disgust, or hate. But for the first time, I wanted that motherfucker dead. Bad.  And Sam Jackson?? I felt dirty watching him. I just want to wash his disgusting house nigger essence off me. That's how good he was.

All in all, Quentin is excellent at creating his history with sprinkles of truth flakes. However, the first thing folks will say is that the brutality was all him with no historical reference. Nah uh. Sorry Chief.

 In reality, the horrors of slavery are FAR worse than he could have ever put on film without damn near mimicking a horror film and being labeled a total psychopath. And as for the end...

Dude.  DUUUUUUDE. When you finally get to the "revenge"...oh. OH my friends. OHHHHH. 

And this is why QT should be this year's "KING OF KWANZAA".  Who else has done more to bring awareness to black history this year than QT? OK. Fine. I'll give you Solidad O'Brian. However, I didn't see the most recent "Black In America", but if you go on the page, even THEY are talking about Django. Clearly I'm right.

Think about it. For those of us who are still doubting this holiday, what sweeter revenge could we have on piling more black obligatory separatist bullshit on us than this?

I tied my own shoes once. Believe me. It was an overrated experience.

Yes, I said "black obligatory separatist" with a straight face.  I know I just came from a movie about slavery and all but, don't you think it's time to let a few things go?

Now wait a minute. Before you think I got all...

 on you...

I'm not saying forget and don't honor our ancestors.

I'm not even saying that white privilege doesn't exist because it does. I just mean, let some shit go and realize that our culture, is slowly becoming OUR culture. Meaning AMERICAN culture.

For example, in the theater, before the movie began, I saw two white guys give each other a pound. A three pointer pound too like "slap", "grip", "snap". It wasn't something they learned on tv like one learns to call each other "Son". They knew it. 

So maybe we consider this idea.... by continuing to think things such as "Black History Month" and "Stepping" and "HBCUs" and yes, even KWANZAA belong only to us ...no wait. Scratch that. Kwanzaa only belongs to us. Nobody else is silly enough to claim it.

What I mean is, as long as we keep separating ourselves....could we be doing more harm than good?

 I wonder about this a lot. I wonder and wonder until my wonderer is sore.

When I travel, I'm simply "American". No hyphen.  No racial baggage. And it feels awesome.

 I want that feeling HERE though.  So this made me wonder (again) about something I learned a long time ago.

If you want to change, you must begin with YOU.

If I want to be seen and treated as "American" and not "African American", should WE start and perhaps do away with the things that are "just for us"?  I mean, if we're all one, I'm wondering....

Why don't WE just....act like it? (And by WE, I mean black folk.) 

That's what the blog's original intention was. To make fun of that very idea, that on some fundamental level, black folk still believe we're not American. When we ARE. We just ...are.

I'm not saying abandon black culture. (Except maybe soul food, because that shit will kill you. We'll talk about that tomorrow.)

 I'm just saying, perhaps it's time to reconsider all that "us against them" shit you've had shoved down your throat by your grandparents and create a new story. 

Because frankly, we off that. Welcome ...to the ...future....

And yeah, I know. Racism exisits. But must you troll Facebook and Twitter looking for ever instance somebody calls Obama a Nigger? I mean, does that help you? And do you also troll the interwebs looking for "cracker" references?  Where's your focus?

Crackers are trending. 

Perhaps it's time to refocus.  Change direction.  Not continue to concentrate on what they did/keep doing to US, but what we keep doing to ourselves and hold ourselves accountable.   Accountable for what we did and are continuing to do to self sabotage. 

So this KWANZAA is dedicated to OWNING UP TO YOUR OWN SHIT. 

Not pointing fingers. Not blaming anyone else for anything. OWNING IT. FACE IT.

Our King Of Kwanzaa was brave enough to make a movie owning up to what the rest of America loves to sweep under the rug. (The dog scene. Wow.) 

But are we?

And though I still believe it's a bullshit holiday, I'm going to go through EVERY. DAMN.  DAY. and do one thing that lines up with that day's principle just like I did in the past, because if Kwanzaa is good for anything, it's kept me on point. 

If you can't get Iyanla to fix your life then fix it yourself. (With a little help from Kwanzaa.)

And so we begin!

Seven more days and tomorrow morning bright and early, I plan to UMOJA.

And I'd love it if you came with me.


-Nyree