Kujichagulia (koo-jee-cha-goo-LEE-ah) Self Determination"To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves."
1. Who am I? 2. Am I really who I say I am? 3. Am I all that I ought to be?
And the hard truth is, I had no idea what to write. And that's OK.
That's the problem when you pledge to do something EVERY. DAMN. DAY.
I was going to say something about folks taking offense to what I've been writing.
Then I was going to talk about how my uncle had the nerve to tell me not to encourage my beautiful young cousin by calling her "gorgeous".
(What kind of "New Nigger Rule" is that? I'm not supposed to build up the self esteem of my family?
Keep that. She's not "Precious". We don't put our girls down.)
Then I was going to talk about how, the moment I got my new laptop, writers' block took a hold of my ass and wouldn't let go.
Then I was going to talk about how today while writing, I thought of my beautiful friend Erica Kennedy and got incredibly sad. Like, ridiculously fucking sad....and guilty. About how I lied to her and told her I finished both her books. (Sorry E. Though it wasn't because I was mad about certain things & details leaking into "Feminista". I swear.) I was going to write about her and the "all that I ought to be" thing, but it just became too much.
I was going to talk about how "What did you do all day?" is not a question you want to ask a writer and not start a fight. Ever.
I also thought about addressing the "You can't be spiritual and say all the things you say..." bullshit shade I've been given by various Pro-Black Christians. (Pro-Black Christians invented shade. I'm convinced.)
Finally, I was going to talk about how I trash Kwanzaa every damn year, but every year I seem to find out more and more about myself, so aside from the stupid kinara (not available in Target or anywhere unless you're in Harlem...) or putting out produce... it's actually not bad for self reflection. So maybe I should own up to some of the things I said.
And then I realized...
I don't have to address any of it.
That's not what this day is supposed to be about. WHEW! I almost let that bullshit ruin my Kwanzaathon!
And this is when I wish Kid Fury was my friend in real life...because I'd call him up on the facetime immediately for a nice cup of steaming shade...(though he might call me a "fish" and we'd have to fight...but anyhoo...)
I'd say, "Kid... guess what I got in my inbox about my "Quentin is Kwanzaa King" post?"
And he'd say...
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| Oh really. Oh.. OK...OK. |
This day is supposed to be about defining MYSELF. I'm supposed to be looking myself dead in the face and asking three questions.
1. Who Am I?
2. Am I Really Who I Say I Am?
3. Am I All That I Ought To Be?
Until I figured these out, I couldn't really stick to my purpose. And had I known all this ahead of time...had I owned up to my shit...AH HA! You see?! You see how easy it is to fall into the "poor me" trap?!
Anyway, back on the positive side of the street.
So, today...I had to ask who I was.
Clearly, I'm a motherfucker who loves cursing. Why? BECAUSE IT'S ENGLISH! Those words were created to add some jalapeno to your prose...so why don't more people use it?
(You all realize by now that gay black men are my spirit animals, right? Good.)
Well, sure, I'm a potty mouth and host of other things. But, the real question is. Am I really who I say I am?
Well, I actually left that one up to the public.
A while back, I asked folks to give me three words to describe me. Here's what they came up with.
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POW! That's exactly who I thought I was!! Brilliant! OK...so now for the third question.
Am I All That I Ought To Be?
Is this a loaded question or what?! What if somebody asked you this? Who (aside from Oprah) can honestly answer "yes" to this?
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| Shade. |
Here's the thing... why can't I answer yes to this?
I mean, real talk (...hand clapping with each word type... *real* *talk*) WHY THE HELL NOT?
Why can't I recognize that I'm EXACTLY where I ought to be in this moment and then strive to get to the next moment? Why can't I just accept the choices that brought me to this place, recognize that I'm supposed to be HERE and then move on from this point?
The thing is... I CAN. Which means my answer is "Yes." Yes...
BUT...I can say yes knowing there is more that's required of me...and that's called "Purpose". But we'll get to that in a bit.
Oh...you see what I did there? I JUST KUJICHAG... KUJICHAGAU... whatever, you know what I mean. I'm not looking it up. Not my fault. Shit should be in English.
Well, however you spell it...I just did it.
...In my fucking footsie pajamas. Boom.
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| Don't front. You want a pair. |
NEXT UP...
Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility): To build and
maintain our community together and make our
brothers' and sisters' problems our problems, and to
solve them together.
HA!!! Oh...my friends. THIS shit should be good. Stay tuned...
-Nyree
Oh...and if you were dying to play that video in the FB grab... you're absolutely right to want it. Here you go. Get ALL the way down with...Carl Carlton.
(Hmm... Nyree Nyreeton... nah. Doesn't work.)
-Nyree
Oh...and if you were dying to play that video in the FB grab... you're absolutely right to want it. Here you go. Get ALL the way down with...Carl Carlton.
(Hmm... Nyree Nyreeton... nah. Doesn't work.)
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