KWANZAA DAY FIVE: COME LIVE YOUR NIA!

Nia (Purpose): To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.

Y'all STILL waiting for Love Jones 2 huh? Yeah. Me too.

Ahh...purpose. 

That's the big question, isn't it? "What's my purpose? What's my purpose?" 

A little over a year ago, I helped to build a church  that actually SANG that before the services started. (Click the lyrics to sing along.)

"I am learning to live
Learning to be
All that I am
More than I see

Moving forward 
To my destiny 
Come take this journey with me

There's no better time to start than now... 
There's no better time to star than now...

Come live your purpose! 
Show us your greatness! 
The world is waiting! 
Show us your greatness! 

There's no better time to start than now..." 


Awesome song eh? 

And that's all well and good...singing that every Sunday, what if you have NO FREAKIN' IDEA what your purpose is? 

But let me back up and talk about this church for a minute. 

First off, it was co-founded by two young black men. One gay and one a single dad. 

Let that sink in. 

They called a meeting and told everyone "We're going to open a church." 

And I sat in this meeting (knowing them both from our former church) squealing with excitement and telling them how wonderful it was and offering support...which they gladly accepted. 

Then we asked when they planned on opening this church. 

"In a month." They said. 

In a month. A new church. That would rely on teachings of all faiths, that wouldn't succumb to dogma, that would be the "hip church". They were planning on having service in a month. 

Four weeks. 

I just started laughing. Like, uncontrollably. 

"This is my purpose," Rodney, a co-founder said. "And I'm living it." 

And let me tell you what happens when you are in the presence of somebody who is living their purpose. YOU. GET. HYPE. 

You turn into a Sister Act montage. You start cleaning and waxing shit while singing along. Dancing with brooms, happily handing out flyers. You don't even stop to THINK that you might be on board the crazy express and the shit has left the station. 

But they weren't crazy. Expansion Church DID in fact, open in a month in an (get this) abandoned firehouse...that was quite fun actually. They then moved on to a bigger and better space and one of the co-founders persued other projects, but that's not the point. 

Rodney and Greg KNEW they had to co-found and create it. They did it. And they were awesome for it. 

Expansion has been going strong for one whole year. You can check out their one year anniversary video below.

Now,  participating in the growth process of that church, (why do y'all keep looking at me like that when I say I helped build a church? What? I'm very fucking spiritual thank you very much!) I believe I've more than Nia'd. I think I've Nia'd enough for a couple of years. I have some left over Nia if you'd like it. 

But that word "Purpose" still bugs me. I started thinking....what is my purpose? 

Unlike Iyanla, I can't answer that like a soulful robot, I needed to do some digging. 

So I searched the Internet. 

Yes. I searched the Internet for my purpose. 

I didn't find it. 

(Shocker.) 

What I did find was an exercise and if you haven't found yours, I highly suggest you do this along with me. 

It's a free write and it's simple. You're just going to write "What Is My Purpose?" at the top of any piece of paper/word processing document and then you'll start writing. 

And you're not going to stop until you whatever you write makes you very...very emo. I mean like, make you cry emo. 

And I know, black people (especially the men) don't like being all emo. We're tough! We survived slavery and Jim Crow! But please, put your thug down for 20 minutes (I promise, you can collect it when you're done) and try this. 

Not tomorrow. Not when you're done reading this blog. 

NOW.  

Now remember... DO. NOT. FUCKING. STOP.  WRITING. UNTIL. YOUR. THUG. HITS. THE. GROUND!

Nah..nah. I'm good Yo. I'm good. 

If you're afraid to do it, that's OK. It's fine. It it helps you feel better...I did it too and I'm more than happy to share it with you (which turns out...is my damn purpose. Tricky. Very tricky this purpose thing.)  By the way, I did not stop until I got it. 

 And you WILL get it. 

A light bulb will go off. A bolt of lighting. A fucking nuclear bomb. 

And then you will know. 

And if you carry that purpose with you... and live that purpose without fear, throughout the new year and beyond, I promise you...I PROMISE you... you will not be disappointed. 

Ready? 



WHAT IS MY TRUE PURPOSE IN LIFE?

I am here for a reason that I have yet to figure out. The thing is, I can't stop writing until I figure it out. I'm here to experience all the things and let people know they are not to be afraid of them. Which means at times, I will have to scare myself shitless. I will look down the barrel of the gun and say with steely resolve "Pull the fucking trigger if you're a man." I'll walk away from the love of my life just so I can see if there's any such thing as coming back. And when he dies, I will know a part of me did as well. And I can tell you that happened. I can hug a girl who I know moved a little too fast. I can tell a child it's OK to be angry. And confused. I am here to make mistakes, get back and up and keep making them. I'm here to piss you the fuck off. To keep operating from that place deep within. I am here to walk the fuck away from toxic people and ignore phone calls even though every ounce of my ego tells me to pick up the phone and don't grow. I'm here to get addicted. To cigarettes. To alcohol. I'm here to successfully kick them both. I'm here to get fat. To get skinny. To become vegetarian. To become pescatarian. To wolf down bacon cheeseburgers. I'm here to make friends. To end friendships. To make love. To break a heart. To be heart broken. To fall in love over and over and over. To have long term relationships. To have affairs. To admit that you can't turn love on and off. To learn. To practice what I preach. To dance. To sing. LOUDLY. To be swept off my feet and treated like dirt at the same damn time. I'm here to wear make up. I'm here to slide down a wall, heaving when I remember the cruel shit adults can do to a child. I'm here to endure sexism. I'm here to endure racism. I'm here to make jokes about both of them. I'm here to make motherfuckers really uncomfortable when they hit on me. I'm here to make you believe you're hotter than you really are. I'm here to be a fantasy for people to masturbate to.  I'm here to intimidate. I'm here to surf porn. I'm here to be a slob. I'm here to be neat. I'm here to be young. I'm here to grow old. I'm here to chronicle every fucking year of this life as long as I have pen/word processor/pencil & paper. I'm here to tell stories. I'm here to show people that growing up in the Bronx ain't so bad. I'm here to see Paris. I'm here to almost die in Costa Rica.  Three times. I'm here to lie. To be honest. To wear heels. To have five pairs of sneakers all for different reasons. I'm here to get all the things. I'm here to give away all my shit. Did I mention Africa? I'm here to see Africa. I am here to reach enlightenment. I'm here because my friends aren't and through me, they always will be. I'm here to bring epic tales to the public. I'm here to get folks thinking differently. I'm here to say it. I'm here to help. I'm here to be selfish. I'm here to lay in a bathtub and meditate. I'm here to question God's existence. I'm here to be an atheist.  I'm here to hold on to God for dear life. I'm here to give hugs when I can. Get them when I need them and curse a motherfucker out even when I know I could probably handle shit better. I'm here to be bad. I'm here to be blunt. I'm here to create. I'm here to create so much shit that I can't sleep. I'm here to say the things you can't. I'm here to stand up for myself. I'm here to stand up for you. I'm here to live this shit out...for as long as possible. I am here to be full of fear. I am here to be fearless. I am here to laugh. I am here to live...and to live...and live..and give you permission to fucking LIVE by example. 



NIA! POW!!

OK Kwanzaa...I see you. I see what you're doing here..

 Today we...Kuumba (Creativity): To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.

Let's get it done!