Go To Parties Like THIS: Sir Ivan's Castle - The Hamptons

Party Animals

I know...I know.

I promised the Switzerland story and the conclusion of my "Eat, Pray, Love" tale.

And you'll get it. I promise.

But first...this freakin' party story.



O.K. So, first of all, I have no idea what I'm doing at this party. I'm sure there was somebody at home, sewing a costume for days trying to get into this party and I sorta just find my way in. And I'm usually not impressed. As a matter of fact, I'm usually a bitch about these things.

 As much as I love events, I also kind of hate them. They're full of people who are more interesting in tweeting that they're at a cool place than actually enjoying themselves.

I'm up for being proven wrong, however, it doesn't usually happen.

So anyway, Elsi asks me if I'm free last Saturday and would I go to a party with her.

Sure. Why not?  It'll give me a reason to hang out with one of my favorite girls. And it's over at midnight. I can be home and cuddled up with Boo Thang by 1AM.


....I should have known better.


You see, Elsi has a way of innocently inviting me to some shit that turns into things I can't blog about because y'all will look at me funny.

So she tells me it's  JUST a record release party for this dude named "Sir Ivan" ...and it's in the Hamptons.

FUUUUUCK. I have to TRAVEL?!! Just for a freakin' party? UGH...And for WHO??

Who is Sir Ivan?  Well... that depends.

You can call him the son of a Holocaust survivor and philanthropist.

You could call him an eccentric billionaire who likes making music, throwing parties and doing whatever the fuck he wants to do. 

Or a just a regular dude who happens to own a real castle in the Hamptons where he routinely throws the SICKEST parties ever.

Choose one.

Needless to say, whoever the hell this dude was...I wasn't happy about it.

 The idea of having to drive out two hours for a fucking party infuriated me. AND it's a theme party? Eww.


But, in the name of friendship, I sucked it up. I was just told to put on a costume, get my ass on one of the 20 Hampton's Jitneys (he had chartered to take guests to and from the city...OK?) and go to his La La Land record release party. Don't think. Stop bitching. You already agreed.  Just go.

So I did.

But first, I'd need a "La La Land" themed costume.

The rules were clear. No costume, no admittance.

I figured everyone in the world would go for a bird or a cat or some shit...so I'd go for the one thing I didn't think anyone would come as.

A fish.

Kiss de girl...

I know. It SOUNDS pretty uninspiring...but once I got the makeup down, a dress that resembled glittery gills and added some fins... I was...

Umm...A Fish-Like Black Chick Thing!!  

Or something. I dunno. It was a better idea in my head. Anyway, who give shit? My glittery, drag queen-esque ensemble and Elsi's magnificent newsworthy Peacock outfit was enough to get us a swanky wristband and access into Sir Ivan's Castle. And dare I say...I was actually starting to get into the spirit of this thing. (How can you not, when you're dressed up like a drag queen?) 

Pretty Wings..

Think I should hand these out when people come to my spot?

So once you get there, you have to cross a drawbridge, and a moat. Finally...you enter the Castle. 

(Well, the Castle grounds anyway. The interior access was for Sir Ivan's peoples only.) 

Just a humble home. 

And I swear, I wanted to scoff. I wanted to get all snooty and talk about how ridiculous this whole thing was but dude really DID turn his place into La La Land. There was a carousel, a Mad Hatter Tea Party, these Lady Bug Glow Carts, unlimited caviar, champagne and, not to mention... and the most important thing here...everyone was COOL AS HELL. 

I mean, there was absolutely NO pretension in this party. Everyone invited must have embodied the "Peaceman"'s mantra of "Love Everyone And Everything" because we were IN LOVE. We were loving each other.. loving the night... loving the champagne... loving even more champagne... and even more... you get the idea... 

Lady...in a Bug

You spin me round right baby...right round...

We are lip-syncing...FOR OUR LIVES...

The Lady Of The House...And Her Dragon

Your party should just give up.

And there's just so much more that I can't really share (like the naked...umm... never mind. Go on my Instagram: @nyree6 to see what I mean.). What I can say is,  sometime around midnight, we were stumbling to catch the Jitney back to the city laughing, exhausted and wondering...what in the hell just happened.

So... the moral of the story?

If you get invited to a party where you have to get on a bus, just go. Don't think...just go.

Get your nose out of the air...and just do the damn thing.

If you have to dress up...DO IT AND GO FULL GANGSTA WITH IT!
(The chances of you enjoying this thing increases by a bazillion when you do.)

BLACK FACTOR: The party was extremely multicultural, diverse in age, sexuality and gender. It was really La La Land.

WOULD I DO IT AGAIN?: Absolutely!! But I need a better costume though. Seriously.

A FISH? Really? What was I thinking? The jokes ALONE...

-Nye