...Write Blogs Like This.

But before I get into all that... first, let me extend a warm welcome to the new blog, inspired by one too many conversations about what black people "don't" do.

Here's how the whole thing started.

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself in a bar with my co-workers (shocker) and somebody brought up the topic. Being the only black person there (I know, another shocker) the heavy burden of representing the entire black race was, yet again, thrust upon my shoulders. (OK, not really, but I took it on anyway...so there.)

Anyway, on the list of what other cultures know for a fact "Black People Don't Do" are the usual suspects.

1) Ski or participate in any other cold weather sport for fun.

Now wait a minute. Before you guys get all riled up and start sending in pictures of your MLK Day Ski-Trip (slash) Shopping Trip to Woodbury Commons (slash)DJ Kid Capri's birthday bash featuring Red Alert...just don't. You know what I mean.
If you don't watch the weather channel for the best "powder" this weekend...hell. If you don't call "snow"..."powder", you're not into it. And stop lying...you never made it out of the lodge since there was the "Pajama Jammie Jam" going on right next door to the "Latin Lovely" right next to the "SoundCrasha"...and you didn't get out of bed till two PM the next day. You packed some red TLC "Creep" video PJ's...but not one pair of ski boots. No. Timbs don't count. Now, may I continue?

Sure there was one guy who protested, saying he knew a black guy who loved to ski.
I mean, sure, there's one. Actually, there are more than one. I'm not talking about the Bryant Gumbles of the world. I'm talking about regular old black folk here. I'm sure there's a Native American out there who loves his snowboard. We're not talking about him either.

2) Participate in any kind of water sport for fun.

Not true. We jet ski...we swim...waterski...and usually, it's the men. The women? We have hair issues. I'm just going to put that out there. If we're jumping into a situation where there is a potential chance our Dominican blow out might hit a body of water,...um... I'm not saying that we won't do it. But we'll think REALLY hard about it before we do. Either, we've got ponytail holders and gel at the ready, or it's not homegrown hair and it'll dry without making a sister look like a Thundercat. Hell, I can't name that many women who have had sex in a shower. (Yes and yes.)

3) Golf & Tennis

You just thought about Tiger and the Williams' sisters, didn't you? Then you thought about...no one.

...right.


Anyway...those were the top three. But it's gotta start somewhere, so that got me to thinking. Why DON'T we do these things? Money? Racism? No interest? No.

Actually, when I did my own non-scientific survey (asked all the black people at my job) why they don't do these things, the answer was overwhelmingly..."I've always wanted to...but I never had anyone to go with."

Now, I know everyone won't go at tasks like... get your hair done at "Supercuts" (I will.) or learn to play a proper game of tennis (yep, on the list) all by their lonesome.

But I will. And when I can't...I'm going to recruit another black person to come with me.

So get ready to broaden your horizons people.

Not only will I be your little guinea pig, I'll give you the "scare factor" as well and answer the questions you really wanna know.

How much did you spend?
Were there other black people there and did you get looked at funny?
Would you do it again?

And hopefully...this will inspire you to get up off your ass...and do something different.

Or at least laugh at me, while I do.

Oh..and this one merits your participation.
IF there's something you've always wanted to try...but never did, and would like me to test the waters for you... no problem.

Just get at me at blackpeopledont@gmail.com

Thanks again...and see you soon. Very soon.

-Nyree

P.S. BTW... I did the Parliaments thing. The first goes down pretty good, because, well. If you're black and at the point where you're accepting a Parliament, you'll probably smoke anything. The second one...repeats on you. And it's wrong. Even when you're drunk.